You're a busy woman. You have work, family, friends, and hobbies all vying for your attention. How do you find the time for all of them without being overwhelmed? Perhaps, you know someone who constantly says yes to extra projects at work, overcommits socially, or takes on too many extracurricular activities for her kids. How do you know when it's time to say no? I want to share a handy tool that I’ve created to help you decide whether extra activities are worth your time.
My inspiration
Recently, my department provided a career development opportunity. I had to decide whether to participate in this optional activity. My initial reaction was “ Yes! Why would you turn down a development opportunity?” However, after thinking about what value the career development opportunity would bring, I hesitated. Then, I talked to colleagues about it. We realized that although the opportunity was attractive, it was not the right one for us at this time. As a working mom, my time especially is very limited. Time is valuable, so how I spend my time is important to me.
Decision tool to determine whether extra activities are worth my time
I developed a decision tool to help me evaluate how I should spend my time for when new opportunities arise.
When to use this decision tool
This decision tool is designed to help you decide whether to say yes or no to optional or additional activities in and outside of work. If your job or boss requires you to be at an event or do a particular project, then you should not bother using this tool. Yes, we have to do things all the time that we do not like doing. For example, taking out the trash is required and not optional. Therefore, we would not apply this decision tool to decide whether to do it.
This decision tool is most useful for when an opportunity arises that sounds attractive, but you are unsure if it is a good fit. Maybe your coworkers ask you to coordinate the monthly departmental seminar series. Or maybe you’re thinking about volunteering to be a board member of your favorite local non-profit. Is this the right time? Will you benefit from doing it? Are you truly interested in the activity, or are you just having some FOMO (fear of missing out)? This decision tool will help in these situations.
How to use this decision tool
Here are some guidelines for walking through the decision tool. It will help you evaluate whether the opportunity at hand is worth your time.
Time investment sets the bar for how to evaluate an opportunity
Time is currency. You have only a limited amount of time. If something takes up a smaller amount of time, then it is fair to set a lower bar on the required rewards for completing the activity. By contrast, if something requires a lot of time, then the opportunity has to provide greater rewards. There needs to be more return on the time invested.
Your personal perception is what determines the low versus high time commitment. One person may view an hour as a low time commitment. By contrast, another person may view an hour as a high time commitment.
The time of day can also play an important role in the time investment factor. For me, an hour at 6pm is an extremely high time commitment because that is the time of day that I set aside for my family. By contrast, an hour at 8am is a low time commitment because that is time I set aside for myself and for work. Therefore, time investment is relative.
Personal Fulfillment is key for any extracurricular activity
If an activity is optional, then don’t do it unless it will provide you some personal fulfillment. These might include volunteer opportunities in your community or special interest groups at work. There is no real “free” time. After all, time spent doing an optional activity will be time taken away from family and personal time. Therefore, the optional activity should provide you with a sense of well-being.
An activity that is a low time commitment but fills you with happiness is an easy YES. However, be careful about accumulating a lot of small extracurricular commitments if you say yes over and over again. Lots of small time commitments add up to a big time commitment. Therefore, it is important to audit your personal time every now and then to make sure that you do not overcommit yourself. Moreover, it is also important to prioritize different activities. We need to decide how much time we have to invest and if we have space for another commitment.
Impact is a measure of return on time invested
For larger time investments, not only does the extracurricular activity have to provide a sense of personal fulfillment, it also needs to provide a positive impact. The positive impact could be on your career, your family relationships or your personal life journey. Evaluating the impact as high or low is a personal assessment.
You may wonder: why spend a lot of time on an optional activity that provides little or no impact even if it gives you some form of happiness? I would recommend evaluating whether there is a similar activity that can provide you with enjoyment yet requires less time investment. It is worth exploring alternatives that will achieve personal fulfillment without a high level of invested time.
The decision tool in action: Three examples
Example 1
I had an opportunity to complete a mini-MBA program. The time invested would be high because the lectures were at 6pm, which is a tough time for me and my family. Many of my colleagues would be taking advantage of this opportunity. Completing the program with my peers would give me some enjoyment. However, the impact of a mini-MBA program on my career would be negligible.
For some people, completing a mini-MBA is a good way to build marketable skills, particularly if they want to explore more business-oriented roles. Indeed, in my case, having a strong business sense is important for my current role. However, I knew that there are other avenues to achieve that without compromising time away from my family. Therefore, I decided not to pursue the opportunity.
Example 2
My friend recently had an opportunity to give a scientific lecture at a regional professional conference. The time invested was high because she needed to develop the lecture. She thought that doing the lecture would give her a sense of personal fulfillment. There was a positive impact on her career as the lecture would provide her with ethos and potentially open doors in the future. Ultimately, she decided to do the lecture. The activity fulfilled both a sense of personal fulfillment and her career goals despite the time commitment.
Example 3
My son’s school asked me to be a “class mom.” The amount of time invested would be high because this private school requires that class moms be involved in fundraisers, classroom activities and school-wide special events. Based on the level of commitment and my lack of personal fulfillment for fundraising activities I passed. However, I readily volunteer for smaller one-time commitments for class and school-wide events.
While I love planning activities for my son and his friends and getting to know the teachers and his classmates, I can do all that without being the class mom. I don’t need to spend time fundraising and or planning classroom breakfasts to have involvement with my son’s class. His teacher told me later that she recommended me based on my level of involvement and the conversations I had with her. It felt nice to be recognized as a good parent partner, but I am happy I did not overcommit myself in that way.
Final thoughts on making decisions on activities
In the past, I have tended to be a yes person, and I have to learn to say no. Having a tool to help me think through the amount of time invested, level of personal fulfillment and positive impact has given me a structure to evaluate optional activities.
Do you have trouble saying no when asked to do an activity? How do you evaluate extracurriculars? How do you protect your time and avoid overcommitment?