When times are tough (and even when they’re great!), we turn to our friends. It’s even better if we are friends with our coworkers, given how much of our lives we spend at work. However, the COVID-19 pandemic has meant that we haven’t been interacting with our friends and coworkers like we normally would. In honor of Galentine’s Day, which celebrates our lady friends, we want to highlight ways to stay connected with friends at work.
Friendships are good for your health
We keep hearing that self-care is really important in pandemic times. But let’s be real here - bubble baths and yoga stretches (if you have time for those!) don't come close to the social connections we need as humans. Among other things, comprehensive self-care must include friendships too.
Having good friends is good for our health. Friends increase our sense of belonging and purpose. They can help boost our happiness and reduce stress. Together, we can boost each other’s self-confidence and self-worth. We can even help each other cope with the traumas that many of us are facing right now, including illnesses, relationship issues, and job loss.
Beyond the emotional and psychological benefits of friendships, good friends can play a role in promoting physical health, like encouraging healthy lifestyle habits. People with active social lives tend to live healthier and longer lives.
Why developing and nurturing friendships at work is important
We spend a lot of our time at work. No matter if we work in a laboratory, manufacturing plant, or remotely from a home office, who we interact with on a daily basis has a huge impact on whether we feel connected and supported. The people we interact with consistently impact our career success and job satisfaction.
Moreover, our pharmaceutical and biotech employers all benefit. Workers like us making friends with our coworkers and even our bosses translates to positive outcomes. According to friendship expert Shasta Nelson, work friendships lead to higher levels of workplace productivity, employee retention, innovation, collaboration, and profitability. In turns, there is less absenteeism, and workplaces see fewer accidents.
In summary, when we have friends at work, we are more engaged. We feel more connected. We also have higher work satisfaction given our relationships at work. Thus, we’re less likely to leave our jobs.
Requirements for creating and building healthy friendships at work
In her interview on the Best of Both Worlds podcast (one of the career development podcasts we’re listening to), Nelson shares the 3 pillars for building healthy friendships at work:
- Consistency -Being at work each day usually means proximity and patterns of regular interaction with friends.
- Vulnerability -A coworker-turned-friend relationship requires emotional exposure and mutual willingness to let the other impact us in some way. Examples include admitting to not knowing something and the ability to ask for help.
- Positivity -Friends enjoy the time they spend with each other, and the relationship is emotionally fulfilling.
We have to practice these pillars over and over again for friendships at work to form. A shared history (like inside jokes!) and the reliable consistency of interactions nurture those friendships. Obviously, this takes time.
The current challenges of keeping in touch with friends and coworkers
In normal times, many of us already don’t feel like we belong at work in some ways. That disconnection can lead to more stress and burnout, less energy, and being unmotivated to complete tasks. This might create impetus for searching for a job somewhere else.
Not feeling connected at work can be magnified during the pandemic. If we’re working on-site, we may not be able to sit at the same lunch table or share the same conference room as our coworkers. Working remotely might mean exhausting and impersonal zoom calls occurring back-to-back throughout the workday. Missing now are the short conversations before a meeting starts or when passing each other in the hallways. Those starting a new job during the pandemic may feel even more isolated.
Thus, how do we maintain the consistency, vulnerability, and positivity that we need for having friends at work?
Strategies for connecting with friends at work
It’s absolutely possible to keep in touch with friends and coworkers during the pandemic. However, we need to be intentional about making those connections, which is very hard to do when we’re all so busy. But it will be well worth the trouble.
Here are some strategies:
1. Virtual one-on-one lunch or coffee breaks
Set up virtual lunch meetings or coffee breaks with friends. Make them recurring events, like every two weeks or once per month. Just as you might do in person, bring your food while catching up over zoom. At home, kids and pets are likely coming in and out of view.
2. Virtual happy hours
Find a regular time for a small group of friends to interact over zoom with the option of sipping an adult beverage. Perfect for venting frustrations and getting advice about how to navigate work and life challenges.
3. Group messaging (text, WhatsApp, etc.)
Invite a group of friends to be part of a shared messaging thread. Topics are whatever people want to share and discuss. Messaging activity will ebb and flow, but the thread helps friends feel instantly connected to a support network.
4. Multi-task phone call (catch up while walking, folding laundry, cooking, etc.)
Schedule phone calls with friends to catch up but be explicit about how the camera will be off, given zoom fatigue. Then, use that time to also take a walk outside or fold the laundry. This strategy works particularly well for maintaining friendships from previous jobs too while we're all so busy.
5. Pep talks to start or end the week
Schedule a 15-minute check-in at the start and/or end of each work week. Use this time to give each other encouragement and support to tackle the challenges of the week. At the end of the week, the check-in could be a time for celebrating achievements or commiserating over disappointments. In lieu of scheduling standing calls, friends might also message each other for their weekly check-ins.
6. Plan shared experiences
Order a specific spa mask or foot peel, and do it together virtually. Start a book club, or just choose to read the same book and then discuss it. Share a TED talk or article and ask your friends what they think about it. Listen to the same podcast or Netflix show and discuss it.
7. Be honest about your life
Answer the question “How are you doing?” honestly. Share a tidbit about your life. Open up and show vulnerability. Be genuinely curious when you ask the question of your friends and expect to an honest answer about what's going on with them.
8. Follow up
In pre-pandemic times, after intense meetings, attendees would leave in pairs or small groups, still discussing what had just happened. Intense meetings are still happening virtually, so follow up with your coworkers just as you would in person. It means doing so via text, Instant Messaging, or a phone call. Let them know they did a good job or ask follow up questions.
9. Regular check-ins before meetings
It's nice to start a meeting chatting about how people are doing prior to jumping into the agenda. This can be challenging though if the meeting agendas are jam packed and time is limited.
Last words about friends at work
During this pandemic, it’s perfectly OK to deepen the relationships we had previously rather than find new friends. Of course, for those starting a new job, extra effort is needed to identify people with whom there might be a good connection. In any case, we need to be more strategic and intentional now than in normal times. The efforts should focus on figuring out and practicing new patterns of interaction.
Humans are inherently social, and we also like our habits. Therefore, the best advice may be to automate the opportunities for engagement. As a result, we will increase the benefits from the interactions while minimizing tedious logistics.
Getting our social needs met is part of self-care. What strategies have you used for keeping in touch with your friends at work?