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How to Tackle Microaggressions in the Workplace

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In the US, we’re in the middle of a social justice movement. Some companies are tackling hiring and retention through the lens of social justice. In addition, many employers are rolling out diversity and inclusion training sessions for employees. To truly nurture an inclusive work environment, we need to be tackling microaggressions in the workplace. 

woman wondering about microaggressions in the workplace
We need to tackle microaggressions if we want an inclusive work environment. Photo by Eunice Lituañas

Recently, I attended some webinars (thanks to several women-focused professional groups at my work) on the topic of microaggressions. These gave me a few “aha!” moments. I realized how valuable it was for me to be able to identify and name the interactions at work that have given me pause. 

Uncomfortable at work

My first day at work in my first pharma job was memorable. I met the head of the department as we passed each other in the hallway. He asked if I had visited the company clubhouse yet. I had not. “You need to go see it. I love going there to play ping pong. I bet you must be really good at ping pong.” When I contradicted him, citing a lack of hand-eye coordination and just overall being really bad at sports, he insisted, “I don’t believe that. You’re being humble. I’m sure you must be a really good ping pong player!”

A year later, after a company reorganization, there was a new chain of command. A few minutes into my introductory meeting with a new manager, he said to me, “My wife is Asian,” with a knowing look. Stunned, I wondered if that was supposed to mean something - or if I could go back to asking him about his vision and plans for the group.  

There was clearly no ill intent from these leaders. Yet, these types of situations made me uncomfortable. These leaders didn’t know anything about me, but they made comments based on how I look, or they unnecessarily called out the way I look.  

Simultaneous to my discomfort though, I was also wracked with self-doubt. Was my discomfort a legitimate reaction? Did I even have a right to that discomfort? 

What are microaggressions?

Microaggressions are nuanced forms of insults or disrespectful communications that occur during everyday exchanges. They can be verbal or nonverbal. They can be intentional or unintentional. Microaggressions typically communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to people based solely upon their marginalized group status. 

In the workplace, microaggressions can often occur as unintentional expressions of racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, or ableism. Usually, they come from well-intentioned people as seemingly innocuous comments. Examples include commenting that a Black colleague is “so articulate” or “well-spoken,” purposely mispronouncing or mocking a coworker’s name (e.g., former Georgia Senator Perdue), and telling a coworker that he “doesn’t look gay.”

Microaggressions faced by women in the workplace

Women may be subject to a number of microaggressions at work. Female colleagues may be advised to “smile more” or “be less aggressive” during performance reviews. They might be assigned certain tasks, like planning the lab/office party or taking notes during a meeting, simply based on their gender. Women may experience more interruptions during meetings, or they often don’t get the credit for their ideas. Their seniority or competency may be challenged or doubted. Many women are asked by coworkers, "When are you having kids?"

What makes microaggressions so challenging to tackle?

The majority of these moments seem insignificant to those responsible for microaggressions, and bystanders don’t understand the implications. Because they’re, well, micro, it’s easy to dismiss microaggressions as not a big deal. Or it’s quickly backpedaled as “I didn’t mean it like that” or “I meant it as a joke.” 

Or, it’s easy to accuse the person who is offended as being “too sensitive” (which is actually just another microaggression!). The denial and dismissal of the reaction is the gaslighting component of microaggression.

Woman with dark curly hair contemplating microaggressions at work
Recipients of microaggressions might be accused of being too sensitive, which in itself is a microaggression. Photo by ActionVance

Even worse, many people tend to defend the perpetrators or make excuses for them rather than defend the person to whom the microaggression was directed. When I confided in a workplace coach about the comments that my leaders had made, he suggested that they were just trying to find a way to better relate to me. By contrast, I felt marginalized.

One of the reasons why microaggressions are challenging is the need to balance intent and impact. Intent is important, but it’s not everything. Impact is just as important. And our actions and words matter when it comes to balancing intent and impact.

Why should we care about tackling microaggressions at work?

Microaggressions fall under the umbrella of workplace bullying. They can contribute substantially to a hostile work environment. Under the guise of clumsy misunderstandings, a persistent pattern of microaggressions can be a damaging force that tears teams apart.

Not only do microaggressions cause a sense of not belonging at work, they also impede productivity and undermine confidence. Moreover, bullying and hostile work environments result in costly workplace attrition, particularly among women, POC, and LGBT individuals.

For the individual, a single microaggression might just be annoying. However, microaggressions accumulated across an entire career or lifetime can have deleterious effects on self-image and mental health. 

Tackling microaggressions in the workplace

One might say that it’s important to call out the microaggression as soon as it happens. Or even to educate coworkers about why their comments might be misaligned with their intent. But that’s asking a lot from people who shoulder the cumulative burden of microaggressions. Moreover, the power dynamics in the workplace may not be welcoming for discussions about microaggressions.

Therefore, all of us need to share the burden of recognizing and understanding how our ignorant comments or questions might be perceived by our colleagues. Among the many issues of diversity and inclusion, let’s continue to learn about microaggressions and how to manage them at work.

A few tips to remember:

  • If a coworker tells you that you did or said a microaggression: 

Listen to the coworker's concerns. Acknowledge their feelings as valid. Apologize that your comment or action had a negative impact. Learn from that situation, even if you don’t fully understand. After that, move on from this mistake. Don’t dwell on it, and try not to do it again.

  • If you receive a microaggression from a coworker: 

Take a deep breath. Then decide whether you feel safe. Determine whether you are comfortable talking to the coworker about it. If you decide to do so, emphasize that you are not trying to blame or shame them. You are not calling them sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. However, do express the impact of the microaggression on you and that you value the relationship enough to have the conversation. See where the conversation leads. It is not your responsibility to teach, and you may not be able to make anyone understand.

  • If you witness a microaggression: 

Assess whether you want to have the conversation about what you saw or heard. If so, then acknowledge that you are sharing only your own feelings and experience. After all, the person you thought had been offended may not have been offended at all.

Two women at picnic table outside discussing microaggressions at work
Comments may not be microaggressions in the context of a friendship or trusting work relationship. Photo by LinkedIn Sales Navigator

Context matters

For me, one key takeaway from the diversity and inclusion webinars I attended was that context is really important. Many comments and questions are no longer microaggressions if they are expressed in a different context, such as within a long-term working relationship or friendship. For example, if I am truly curious about how a Black coworker styles her hair, I should also be interested in first developing a friendship and a trusting relationship before inquiring.

The comments from senior leaders that I received likely would not have made me uncomfortable if I had worked with these individuals for some time and we had already developed a good working relationship. 

It’s a journey - and there will be mistakes

I work for a company that appears regularly on the America’s Best Employers for Diversity and Best Workplaces for Women lists. However, as my personal experience has illustrated and as senior leadership thankfully recognizes, we still have a lot of work to do to dispel ignorance and nurture an inclusive environment. Education on tackling microaggressions in the workplace is one way to start.

Building competencies in diversity, equity, and inclusion is a journey. Therefore, we will all make mistakes along the way. In today’s polarized society, it is really easy to label or charge someone with being insensitive or aggressive. However, we do not want a culture in which everyone must think twice about speaking up. 

This is a worthy journey that we must take. Together, we can become well-versed and seasoned practitioners of diversity, equity, and inclusion; and our workplace will be more welcoming for all. 

Here are some resources:

Learn about microaggressions
About gender-based microaggressions
Responding to microaggressions

What have been your experiences with microaggressions in the workplace?