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Why I Left Pharma – A Journey of Personal Transformation & Healing to Courageously Act on My Purpose – Guest Post

This week's guest post is by Avani Shahlenis. She and I were colleagues in the same department several years ago at Genentech. When she announced that she was leaving the company, I was interested for her to share her "why." On this blog, we primarily focus on getting into and thriving in careers in pharma. However, I think it's relevant to think about what we gain from our pharma experiences to transition out as well. Here is Avani's unique story.

Photo by Brett Jordan

I recently left Genentech after 7 and a half years to pursue my own business as an Energy Healer, Feminine Embodiment and a Sensuality Coach. Big change right? You are probably wondering how does one go from working with healthcare data to working with energy and helping heal emotional baggage that humans carry which keeps them from stepping into full potential and living from their heart’s desires? Here is the story of my journey.

The typical start of an atypical journey

Growing up I was always credited for my analytical, math and science abilities. My journey started with my undergraduate degree in Math, and then I graduated with a Master of Public Health in Epidemiology in 2010.

I started off at a non-profit research institute but soon felt limited in what I could do since I didn’t have a Ph.D. It was like a dream come true when I got the contractor role as an Epidemiologist at Genentech in 2014, one of the top companies in the Bay Area. Following that, I got a full-time role in Genentech Commercial and a promotion in 2017.

I felt like I was part of something amazing: a company dedicated to making people’s lives better. It was a pleasant surprise to learn that at Genentech, diverse experiences were considered an asset and that lateral and upward moves were encouraged equally. I was excited about the possibility to find the best fit for my interests and talents long-term, within a great company. 

And of course, that kind of money early in my career was great! 

Parallel to my career in public health and pharma, I started a journey of personal transformation when in 2008, I did the Landmark Forum (a powerful 3-day personal development course designed to uncover blindspots blocking freedom and full self-expression in people’s personal and professional lives).

Little did I know that this journey would take me on the wildest and most profound ride of my life, including my current career. 

I was drawn to the course because I was in what felt like a personal hell. I was an overachieving and intelligent woman, got awesome grades, but I felt very confused about the direction I wanted to take.

Struggling between what I felt I “should” do and what I truly felt like I wanted to do. With no clarity on the question “Who Am I? I was determined to find a solution to that. I am so grateful for whatever inside me didn’t let me settle for the status quo, and pushed me to look for other ways. After all, how could life be so limited? 

I recognize now that many people feel that way because the current education system prepares you academically and eventually to be a good worker in the system. It doesn't, however, prepare you for life, getting to know who you truly are on a deeper level, and living your life’s purpose  

I am grateful for the start of this transformation journey in 2008, which has continued until today. Over the years, amazing results came from transforming confusion, self-doubt and fear into clarity, confidence and trust by seeing blind spots in how I viewed myself, others, the world and life. That showed up in my success at Genentech in the first few years. 

End of Year 2017 Awards at Genentech. Photo courtesy of Avani Shahlenis

Stepping into a new world 

Have you ever felt that no matter how much you achieve on the outside, there is a level of inner satisfaction that is missing? I certainly felt that way, especially in relationships. I often felt like I didn’t belong anywhere, and all my relationships felt like they were falling short. 

 I was constantly trying to compensate for this deep-down feeling of “something is wrong with me” by 

  • bending over backward
  • over giving / over caretaking to be liked and approved aka people pleasing
  • having no boundaries or violating them
  • not trusting myself
  • trying to control everything! 

I was fluctuating between feeling hopeless about the future and regretful about the past. 

This would often play out in personal relationships, but also in work settings, especially with my leadership and proving my worth working within teams. 

I was getting sick of these repeating patterns with seemingly no end. I knew there was something more that needed to be a part of my transformational tool kit; further continuing investment in myself and my growth.

That’s when I started working with Antia, a dating coach and my now dear friend. I also worked with Jamie, an amazing energy healer. Thanks to these two amazing and powerful women, I started exploring the untapped realms of the feminine, spirituality and energy healing. 

This was a world that was beyond verbal processing of the past such as therapy and Landmark. The beauty of these methods was that they delved into subtleties of our body, emotions, subconscious, energy and intuition.

I learned where my patterns came from: basically a lot of societal, cultural, ancestral and religious programming of fear; lack and scarcity teach us that sacrifice and compromise are necessary parts of being “good”, otherwise we are selfish. All the ways in which we shame and guilt ourselves, especially as women.  

While we humans are certainly social creatures with an innate desire to contribute,  there is an inherent flaw to the way we are taught this. The context of this programming negates the universal truth that the universe is abundant, and we are ultimately worthy of love, just for being. 

The false programming leads to constant hustling to get to the “next level” to prove worth, constant confusion because you’re not trusting your own inner knowing, and hence a sustained feeling of exhaustion. 

The struggle really is between the soul’s inner knowing and the mind's societal programming. Which can pull in the opposite direction. What would it look like to integrate the wisdom of all of it? 

As I started to clear a lot of these old beliefs, and practiced new ways - listening to the wisdom inside me became easier. I started to establish a connection with my emotions, my body, my womb and sensual energy. 

I also became connected with energy healing and spirituality that went beyond my exposure to any religion. It felt so good, like I came home to me! I integrate this beautiful knowing with my mind’s sharpness to manifest my dreams into reality, at a super-fast speed. You could call them miracles 🙂

The results of this transformation were absolutely incredible. In a matter of months, 

  1. I ended up meeting my now-husband. I had become so magnetic and was showing up so powerful that this Dutchman moved from the Netherlands to be with me in San Francisco. We have created an incredible relationship that’s super fun, deeply connected and keeps growing.
  1. Around the same time, I got a promotion at Genentech in record time, started becoming known for my contributions and my leadership started to expand. 
  1. A natural progression of my personal transformation has been stepping into leadership roles as a coach, mentor and guide for others. At Genentech, I was offered the Genentech Emerging Managers program in preparation for my next career advancement at Genentech in management. Simultaneously, I started coaching and taking on leadership roles in transformational programs. 
Paris 2018. Photo courtesy of Avani Shahlenis

The universe works in funny ways

As my inner world started to shift from releasing all that didn’t work for me, my outer world also started going through shifts. 

I hit a wall and a rude awakening when the trajectory I was on at Genentech completely got thwarted. With Genentech’s internal reorganization that was unfolding in 2018, my next step as a People Manager of the team I was in was no longer possible.

When it happened, I was really bitter, but in hindsight, that was a complete blessing in disguise. It gave me an opportunity to explore what else was out there. 

Now that I wasn’t proving myself constantly, what would I WANT to do? More of what brought me joy! Being with people and leading people brought me joy. So that’s what I was going to do. It’s funny how the thing I struggled with the most, became my greatest love. 

In 2019 I took on a 9-month Rotational opportunity in the Coaching function within Genentech Commercial. This was a team of coaches that would coach new teams created as a result of the reorganization. The coaching focused on team formation, idea generation, prioritization and execution of projects. 

Unfortunately, with more reorganization needed in the company, the team was cut in half, leaving no opportunities for a full-time coach role. Regardless, the Rotation experience absolutely solidified my love for people. 

All of this led me to start my own part-time coaching company in partnership with my husband. He is also a coach and healer serving people around money, debt and creating abundance. I also started learning Theta Frequency and Sound Healing from Jamie and got certified in 2020.

Photo courtesy of Avani Shahlenis

Applying what I learned in Pharma in my next adventures

My role in the Commercial Data Strategy team was very entrepreneurial. I created everything from scratch - marketing the group’s vision and mission, creating the operating model and executing on it. With the autonomy I got, it was mine to make it or break it! This gave me the experience of really initiating and owning something by giving it my full heart. 

The Coaching rotation taught me the skills of experimentation, creating minimal viable products, working in an agile fashion to fulfill a created purpose and vision. 

I have used all these skills along with my transformation experiences to create a group coaching and healing program called Unleash the Goddess. This program provides all the best tools I learned through my own journey of transformation, energy healing, feminine embodiment in an easy-to-apply fashion to create meaningful relationships, money and career you want and the joy that you truly desire! To live a lifestyle of your own creation (not the one you defaulted into) of personal responsibility, growth and happiness. 

Leaving Genentech was a few years in the making. It was the perfect storm: closed doors in my area of expertise, and the emergence of what I was newly starting to love. 

With my deep feminine and spiritual work, I learned about cycles: of birth, death and rebirth. It certainly applied here! As sad as it felt that my time in Pharma was coming to an end, I knew I had to accept it for what it was.

All the times I have tried to fight my next growth because the unknown felt terrifying, I suffered even more. The courageous action always feels scary at first, but always pays off in the end. Life unfolds in even more miraculous ways than our minds can imagine. 

And this was certainly a huge leap of faith, especially financially, as a first-new mom with a 9-month-old! My dilemma: Why not continue coaching and healing part-time, and hold on to the full-time role in Data Strategy which I could return to after maternity leave? Lots of people asked me this question.

Image courtesy of Avani Shahlenis

I Took a Chance on Me

It came down to the process of self-actualization, discovering my purpose in this lifetime and following my heart’s path. Creating a full vision of my life, and then taking the actions to live it. 

Choosing where I will 100% dedicate my life force energy, even if it felt scary in the short term. Furthering the mission I am here to do - which is to help women connect with the innate powers and wisdom within that they can use to live their lives in Freedom, Peace and Pleasure every day.

It came down to, basically, walking my own talk!

I am forever grateful to my Pharma career, the opportunities it made available, the connections that helped me go deeper into who I truly am and then use all of that to leap into my true purpose. 

I am also grateful for all the ways in which we are supported by our coaches, mentors and healers, family, friends, clients, old colleagues in walking this new path. I am grateful that I chose what feeds my whole self - my mind, body and soul, which spills over into my family, relationships, how I grow my finances, future plans, peace of mind, and my own sense of self. I took a chance on myself 🙂 

Is this you?

If there's something tugging at you to find and step into your true purpose, then it's time to get support and surround yourself with yay-sayers and those who believe in you. 

Or you feel like you are done with the over-giving, people-pleasing, not trusting yourself or trying to control everything all the time, then I can certainly guide you through it. 

With the right support and tools, you can accomplish anything when you discover and unleash your true inner wisdom and natural gifts. This will help you fulfill your heart’s truest desires and create the lifestyle you truly want. I believe that that is what 2022 is calling for!

As I have walked this path already, I would love to assist you on your own self-discovery journey, help you get unstuck in your manifestations in career, purpose or relationships so you can feel free and peaceful. This is where you can find me: https://calendly.com/avanishahlenis/exploration

And if you want to know how my absolutely incredible 4-month group coaching and healing program Unleash The Goddess can help you create miracles, visit https://softwomanschool.com/product/unleash-the-goddess/.

Connect with me on Instagram and/or LinkedIn.

Avani’s Bio

Avani Shahlenis is a transformational coach, energy healer and community builder. She’s the Founder and CEO of Soft Woman School. Her passion is empowering and celebrating people, and her purpose is for people to experience being fully seen, heard, respected and cherished. Her signature program Unleash The Goddess helps women discover and master their hidden feminine superpowers and put them to work towards their authentic unique vision so that they can create the pleasure, freedom and inner peace they so crave on a daily basis. 

She has a Bachelor's degree in Math and Master's of Public Health (MPH). Her personal transformation journey of over 13 years, of which she has been coaching for 8 years, led her to eventually switch from an 11-year career in Research and Pharma working in Data and Analytics to becoming a practitioner of Energy Healing and Women’s Sensuality Coaching. She has experience coaching teams, individuals and leaders in Pharma on matters of performance and leadership. She is a sensuality expert with somatic training and a certified Intuitive Energy and Sound Healer. She along with her husband Wouter Shahlenis have created a healing methodology called Orgasmic Healing that combines the power of sensual energy and theta healing to heal past traumas and create quantum abundance and manifestation. The tools she has learned and created allow her clients to be held in a safe space of deep thinking, reflection and integration on all levels of body, mind and soul, empowering them to create miracles and fulfill their dreams, ongoingly!

Thank you, Avani, for sharing your guest post!